How in the world I survived years of casting calls and commercial auditions is BEYOND me. I guess I was just braver then. The thought of it now brings shivers down my spine – literally. I have enough trouble getting dressed for carpool drop-off for goodness sakes (did I really just say carpool drop-off??)!
Ok, to start things off – I never did find that “perfect” thing to wear. You know how sometimes you have to find something to wear to a wedding or something and you only have a small window to shop and not only are you panicked about said garment fitting but the dressing room lights make everything seem more terrifying?? Add that feeling to the one you’d have trying on jeans and/or swimsuits (God forbid) and somebody just give me a drink already.
I got a little lost finding the place – and of course couldn’t go in without coffee so a Starbucks detour was a must. When I arrived, the makeup girl was waiting for me and I promptly sat my butt in the artist’s chair and let her go to town.
Ever had glamour shots made? Oh yeah, I did baby. Have you ever popped that collar? I seem to remember wearing a RED denim jacket. And there might have been a velvet choker.
Don’t worry, this gal had a lot more experience than the makeup “artist” at the Tyler Glamour Shots, but it just brings to mind the AMOUNT of makeup that I had on my face and the fact that it was airbrushed on. Oh yes, if you’ve never had THAT done before…
My hair was BIG, y’all. That was the one thing I told the girl – BIG hair. Messy, bedhead-y. I looked in the mirror when she was done, and I gotta say, I was a little bit…well, shocked, to say the least. I didn’t look like me – but it was me – this doppelganger.
When the photographer arrived, we went over my wardrobe choices and the makeup artist left so it was just the two of us. It dawned on me that she’s seen everything so I pretty much walked around in my skivvies and I thought of Charlie and how she likes to run around naked about once a day – yeah, felt pretty good, I’m not gonna lie.
The shoot went by super fast and the photog made me feel really comfortable – a few times she had me in poses that seemed awkward but now that I see the pics I get it. I never thought all those years of watching “America’s Next Top Model” would pay off, but guess what – they DID. Ha! Booty Tooch, anyone??
So here’s what I learned from my boudoir experience:
I wish that I had felt more comfortable to er, show a little more skin, but I just had to accept that this is where I am in my life right now and let’s be honest: after two c-section’s my skin is more akin to a shar-pei than a Victoria’s Secret model.
I will say that what she did was VERY tasteful and I think I would do it again – maybe after I’ve had all my plastic surgery (you think I’m kidding) and I’m reclaiming my body after a decade of birthin’ babies. I’d think I’d like to revisit this experience again someday.
So there you have it. A keepsake for my honey and a snapshot in time.
I promptly took my full makeup and lashes to the grocery store and bought everything for Thanksgiving dinner. That was awesome. After all, it’s how all the celebrities do it, y’all.